Monthly Archives: December 2011

Decisions, Decisions

As I was visiting a friend a few weeks ago, we were driving along, and she said, “Don’t give me three routes.  Just give me one.”  I started thinking about how much easier our lives would be if we only had one way to go all the time.  No time wasted on trying to decide which way would be easier, faster, shorter.  What would our lives look like then?  Boring, uneventful, predictable.  I think for the majority of people, that would not suffice.  I think people are happy that they have choices and they do not have just one way to do things or go places.  I think we all just want to do what is familiar, easier, and faster, though.  So, if we think about the big picture regarding life, what is it we want?  Well, for me, I would like personal peace, contentment, love, and security.  I was one of many who looked to find those things in a multitude of ways.  I looked for those things through sex, food, alcohol, and drugs.  I got to decide which of these I wanted to use to find all those things.  Sometimes, I used all of them within the same time period.  I had all those choices.  I was happy that I had all those things to choose from.  All were easy to get to at any particular time.  I had all those choices; however, they were not good choices the way I used them.  They enslaved me and pulled me down every single time.   Only in the past year have I been able to see that there has always been only one route that would give me those things I so desperately wanted and needed.  I rededicated my life to Jesus.  That is not saying that I have perfected my life.  I have not, but I have been freed of misuse of sex, food, alcohol, and drugs.  I was looking for comfort and love through those things, and it just did not happen.  However, God’s love is comforting and will always be here.  I can have as much of that as I want as long as I am willing to accept it.

Your word, Lord, is eternal; it stands firm in the heavens.

Your faithfulness continues through all generations; you established the earth, and it endures.

Your laws endure to this day, for all things serve you.

If your law had not been my delight, I would have perished in my affliction.

I will never forget your precepts; for by them you have preserved my life.

Save me, for I am yours;  I have sought out your precepts.

The wicked are waiting to destroy me, but I will ponder your statutes.

To all perfection I see a limit, but your commands are boundless.

Psalms 119: 89-96

I think my friend had a good point with wanting just one route.  My decision to choose just one route has freed me from obliterating myself.  I still have decisions to make, but I believe that the only good one for me at this point is to be enveloped in God’s love and direction.


Posted by on December 28, 2011 in Uncategorized


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My Grown Up Christmas List

First of all, I love that song.   This will be short and sweet.

My list:

1.)  To walk and live as God would have me walk and live.

2.)  To rid my life of as much toxicity as possible.

3.)  To be the best mom and wife as humanly possible.

4.)  To be the best friend anyone could wish for.

5.)  To be honest:  To others and myself.

6.)  To be patient with all things and people.

7.)  To be trustworthy.

8.)  To be an effective therapist.

9.)  To be more loving.

10.)  To have a deeper understanding of my worth and value.

There are many other things I could ask for.  I think those cover the important things for now, though.  I must say, though, that I feel selfish for this list.   I hope that it does not seem selfish to those reading it.  I’m teary in writing these things.  Sighhhh.  I don’t know what those tears mean, but they do come, and my heart feels “something”.

What does your list look like?

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Posted by on December 5, 2011 in Uncategorized

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