04 May

Man, that word is twisted, crumpled, and thrown around in today’s world.  I have seen it in my kids’ lives.  They have friends when those friends are getting what they want/need out of the situation.  For example, if this other person’s friend is not speaking to them at the moment, they run to someone who will talk to them and ignore the problems sitting before them.  After a certain amount of time, they leave the one who took the time to listen and let them cry on their shoulders and run back to the one who treated them poorly to begin with.  I am talking about teenage girls here.  Those of you with teenage girls know exactly what I am talking about.

What I want to discuss here, though ,is adult friendships.  Being responsible for your own fecal matter (I would have like to have inserted a bowling word, but minors may read this) for those you are in relationships with.  I have had friends who want me around when I am the “Yes (Wo)Man”.  When there are no more answers of yes left, they head off to find someone else to be that person.  I am 43 years old, and I want real people in my life.  I do not have time for pretend.  I have one of the most amazing women in my life right now, and because I listen to my own fears from experiences, I hurt her.  What in the name of all that is good and right is OK about that?  I fail many times with this friendship.  I see it as the relationship I have with God.  Not that my friend of flesh is God, but you know.

My relationship of God is one of trust and love and respect and just having faith.  Sometimes, I believe I know better and lean on my own understanding.  I fail God at that moment.  I fail God when I stop trusting and respecting and having that faith.  The thing is, it is not anything God has done to make that happen.  It is all on me and my experiences.  It does not make it okay, however.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;  Proverbs 3:5

 When I sin against God I beg for forgiveness.  When I fail against my best friend, I beg for forgiveness.  I admit my faults in both situations, and I lay all my ugliness right on out there on the table.  It is so dark and ugly, my stuff.  You cannot have an honest relationship with God or any person unless you are willing to look at your sludge, your “pornographic” issues.  I use the word pornographic because it is disgusting.

I have given my word, my promise, that I will never let my insecurity be an issue with my best friend again.  My word is good.  God’s word is better, and He  knows your faults, and if your friend is real, so does she.  Most likely, they love you anyway.  I am blessed my God and my best friend loves me anyway.

“Nothing will work unless you do.”
That quote is from Maya Angelou.  I very much plan on working on everything and everyone that matters.
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Posted by on May 4, 2012 in Uncategorized


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