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Monthly Archives: May 2014

Craving, Desiring, Coveting…

The title of this blog post has three words, and they all mean the same thing.  

For instance:

crave kreɪv(v.)craved, crav•ing.

  1. (v.t.)to long for; desire eagerly.

  2. to require; need:

    a problem craving your prompt attention.

  3. to ask earnestly for.

  4. (v.i.)to beg or plead (usu. fol. by for).

de•sire*dɪˈzaɪər(v.; n.)-sired, -sir•ing

  1. (v.t.)to wish or long for; crave; want.

  2. to ask for; solicit; request:

    The mayor desires your presence at the meeting.

  3. (n.)a longing or craving, as for something that brings satisfaction; hunger.

  4. an expressed wish; request.

  5. something desired.

  6. sexual appetite or a sexual urge.

cov•etˈkʌv ɪt(v.t.)

  1. to desire wrongfully, inordinately, or without due regard for the rights of others:

    to covet another’s property.

  2. to wish for, esp. eagerly.

  3. (v.i.)to have an inordinate or wrongful desire.

All of those words mean to want something you do not already have.  The idea for this post came when I watched numerous videos of young men and women singing from their very cores, and I thought to myself, “I wish I could sing like that.  I wish I had that talent.”

Then, I thought, “Dawn, this is not the talent or gift you were given.  Why can you not be satisfied with the talents and gifts you do have?!”  It was a humbling thought, really.  I find myself having thoughts about craving, desiring, coveting others’ gifts and talents.  It’s really unfair to me and everyone else around me that I do not appreciate, fully, what I have been given to share with others.  Mainly, it’s rude and unfair to the One who gave me such gifts.

As a society, we all crave more.  As if “more” is the answer to everything wrong in the world.  It simply is not the answer to everything wrong in the world, and it is most likely not the answer to most things.  Some crave attention, love, and relationships.  Some desire more money, bigger homes, nicer cars.  Some covet other people’s mates, lifestyles, and lives.  

When we turn our focus on what other people have, it is very hard to see and appreciate what we already have.  Wanting what someone else has places blinders on us, so that we see nothing else.  That’s a shame, really.  Think about it.  If we have a house, car, food, clothes on our backs, and shoes on our feet, we have more than most of the world.  Even if we have just some of those, we have more than most of the world.  Yet, YET, we still want what someone else already has.  That has me hanging my head in an Eeyore kind of way.  Where do we get the chutzpah to think that THAT is the way to live?  If we allow ourselves to be so busy constantly wanting something or someone else, we’ve committed a grave injustice.  We begin to live a life of greed and selfishness which is just ugly and dark.  Greed is a sin!  Here’s how the definition of greed reads according to Merriam-Webster:

:  a selfish and excessive desire for more of something (as money) than is needed

 

When we are so busy sinning, it’s hard to do what it is good and right.  When our hearts are so full of greed, there is no room for love.  That’s what this life is all about.  Love.  Give it unconditionally!  Accept it humbly!  Encourage it exuberantly!

Greed brings upon us a death which is lonely and unbearable.  Be content with what gifts, people, things you have.  

But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death. — James 1: 14-15

 

Let’s replace craving, desiring, and coveting with words like faith, hope, and love.

If I speak in the tonguesa of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast,b but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love. — 1 Corinthians 13

 

Love sounds a much nicer way of life than does greed and selfishness, doesn’t it?  

Be mindful of where your thoughts take you today.  Are they leading you to greed and selfishness, or are they leading you to love?  If you find yourself being led to greed and selfishness, you can change those thoughts.  Move toward love.

Be a gracious gift-receiver.  Be a loving gift-receiver.  Be a thankful gift-receiver.  

That for which we are so ungrateful, someone else is longing for out of necessity, survival.

 

 
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Posted by on May 22, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Left Alone

Do you ever catch yourself making the statement, “I wish I knew what it would be like to _______________”?  I’m pretty sure that most of you who read this will say, “yes.”  We are human, and we have curiosity about a lot of different things.  But, just because we are curious by nature, does not mean we should act on that curious nature.  

For instance, what if someone made the statement, “I wish I knew what it would be like to be drunk and drive around the city” and then acted that out?  Well, let’s look at the possible consequences.  This person could “simply” get drunk and drive around the city and wake up with a hangover in the morning.  That person could also get drunk, drive around the city, and wreck his or her vehicle.  That same person could get drunk, drive around the city, wreck his or her vehicle into another vehicle harming, or killing someone else and end up in jail….or worse.  

Are those consequences really worth checking out that curiosity?  

What if someone made the statement, “I wish I knew what it was like to have a one night stand”?  Again, let’s look at the consequences.  This person could have a one night stand and “simply” feel guilty about it in the morning.  This person could have a one night stand, feel guilty about it in the morning, and have to drive that person back to his or her car…..awkward to say the least.  This person could have a one night stand, feel guilty about in the morning, drive that person back to his or her own car, go home and use the bathroom and experience painful burning only to find out that he/she has contracted a “simple” STD.  This person could have a one night stand, become pregnant (or impregnate someone) and have to deal with decisions regarding becoming a parent or killing a child.  This person could have a one night stand and find out months later that he/she has tested positive for three other letters….HIV….get AIDS….and die a horrible death.  

Are those consequences really worth checking out that curiosity?

What if someone who was married made the statement, “I wish I knew what it was like to be intimate with that person”?  That married individual could have an intimate relationship with someone else and hide it from everyone for the rest of his or her life.  That married individual could have an intimate relationship with someone else and hide it from everyone and suffer greatly from the guilt for the rest of his or her life.  That married individual could have an intimate relationship with someone else, hide it from everyone for the rest of his or her life, suffer greatly from the guilt due to constant memories of it, and end up killing him/herself because of it causing damage to so many other people.

Are those consequences really worth checking out that curiosity?

Some of these things really happen.  Some are planned, and some of them are not planned at all, but they happen.  When we let our emotions get the best of us, we end up in some really unhealthy places, and do not think for one minute that there are not consequences.  There are always consequences!  Once something is known, there is no unknowing it.  It’s there.  It’s a part of your psyche.  It is in your head in the darkest, loneliest corner.  Sometimes the harder you try not to think about any of those curiosities you decided to want to know about and be involved in, the more you do think about them.  The bigger that monster becomes.  Imagine Godzilla flattening New York City.  

You are more powerful than those emotions.  Those curiosities.  You can keep yourself from tearing your world apart and from tearing someone else’s world apart.  “It can’t and won’t happen to me,” may be in your head right now.  I am here to tell you that it CAN and WILL if you do not become aware of where your thoughts and emotions are taking you.  You can control your thoughts.  And, understand that your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors are all connected.  Intertwined in a neat little bundle just waiting for your permission to get the ball rolling.  “I would never drink and drive,” “I would never have a one night stand,” and “I would never be involved in an infidelity” are all things you can surely tell yourself, but I am telling you right this second that you are perfectly capable.  I do not care how involved in church you are.  I do not care how long you have been married.  I do not care that you have never had a drink in your life.  I do not care how good of a person you think you are.  You can get so caught up in your emotions and thoughts that you are blinded by the possible consequences of any behavior.  

AND…AND your behaviors always affect others whether you realize it or not.  You never plan to hurt the people you love, but when you allow your thoughts and emotions to get control of you, you can do some serious damage.

Evil doesn’t always look like evil.  It’s often everything you have ever wanted, needed, or craved.  It’s often gift-wrapped with pretty wrapping paper and a bright, shiny bow.  Fool’s gold is called that for a reason.  Those who searched for gold were often tricked by the shiny appearance of a small nugget.  They believed that they had found the real thing when all along it was nothing but Pyrite.  Not everything/everyone is as it/they seem(s).  Those examples of outcomes above, even in the least horrible outcomes, are still horrible outcomes.  Something unhealthy, negative, still happens.

We all have curiosity.  We all want to know the answers to all of our questions, but there are significant reasons why we do not know certain things.  You are worth way more than the consequences you will have to face.

Some things are just better left alone.

 

 
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Posted by on May 17, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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Insufferable

The thing I most dread, anymore, is opening up Facebook and seeing how many miles someone just ran, how many pounds someone else just lost, how many pounds someone “needs” to lose, and what pant size someone is now in.  I usually see all of those things within a day of Facebooking.  I used to be one of those people who wanted to let the whole world know that I was doing those things, but I had no idea how much hurt I was perpetrating on someone else.

In the past couple of years or so, I have had to just stop looking some days.  I have had to “unfollow” people recently because I just cannot keep reading about food, exercise, or anything weight related.  For those of you reading this and thinking, “Oh my gosh!  Get over it!” let me just explain that this is not an issue regarding jealousy.  This is a real issue of struggling with what a society sees as success.  It’s a real issue of being healthy or unhealthy.  Smaller size does not equal health.  Smaller size does not equal happiness.  Smaller size does not equal love.  

It just doesn’t.

Society should not get to dictate what success looks like, but it does.  It always has, and sadly, it probably always will.  

The “perfect” body is nonexistent.    

Bulimia, Anorexia, Overeating.  Those are real, scary, deadly disorders.  

They all have everything to do with how one feels on the inside.

What are you feeling on the inside that is pushing you to feel the need to lose 1 pound by the end of the week?

What are you feeling on the inside that is pushing you to feel the need to work out multiple hours a day on a daily basis?

What are you feeling on the inside that is pushing you to feel so very unhappy with the outside?

There isn’t just one simple answer to those questions.  Ok, the answer may be simple, but the reasoning and feeling behind that answer is not so simple.  That, I can guarantee you.

I would much rather read about how full your heart is today.

I would much rather read about your hopes and dreams that are completely unrelated to weight, food, exercise, or the size of your brand new jeans. 

This may not change one person’s view on how they treat themselves or others based on what society believes they should look like.  

However, by reading this, maybe you can become aware of how those things affect others.

I do love you, and it has nothing to do with the way you look.  It never has.  It never will.

 

 

 
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Posted by on May 13, 2014 in Uncategorized

 

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