A Sad Goodbye

As everyone knows at this point, Robin Williams has passed away.  Well, “passed away” seems to indicate that he had no hand in his own death.  Preliminary reports suggest otherwise.  I take passing away as a peaceful death.  There is no peace in depression, addiction, and/or suicide.  I have had depression for more years than not.  I have had anxiety.  I have experienced addiction, and I am not excited about sharing that.  I share it, though, because I want people to know that you can get help.  There is an extended hand toward you whom are suffering at this very moment.  Take that hand!  It gets tiring fighting depression, anxiety, and addiction.  It’s hard.  You have done hard before!  GRAB THAT HAND OF HELP!!  You can make it through these illnesses and diseases.  You can get help.  I want you to get help.  I don’t have to know you any more than I do right this very minute to care whether or not you live.  I do care!  Mental illness is treatable!  Again, MENTAL ILLNESS IS TREATABLE!!!!  I love you.  I care about you.  You are worth taking care of.  You do not have to be hopeless.  You do not have to feel worthless.  You are not worthless.  You are far from it.  Please, seek help immediately if you are at the end of your rope.  Proverbial or literal!  Please ask for help.  There is no shame in asking for assistance.  There is no reason your family and friends should ever have to feel guilty due to your choice to die.  Nobody will be better off if you take your life.  Nobody.  Depression does not get to win.  Anxiety does not get to win.  Addiction does not freaking get to win!  You are not your disease.  You are so very much loved and cared about.  Please please please know this.  May God bless the soul of Robin Williams.  May God bless your soul.

 

Humble Pie and a Prescribed Burn

So, I had a very good friend hand me a big slice of humble pie earlier this evening. It was served with graciousness and love, but the taste still lingers, and my taste buds are not thrilled. I have been recently praying to be stripped of my prideful thinking and assumptions. It’s just terribly nauseating to see my own pride. With the proverbial mirror held up in front of me, I witnessed the repugnant sludge of pride exuding from my thoughts, lips, and fingertips in text. I find it terribly distasteful and tacky. It is necessary to see these things in myself and have them pointed out by those who want to lovingly help me grow in places that have been terribly deprived my entire life. If I want to grow as a “good and faithful servant,” I must die to my selfishness. I must succumb to humility. I’ve experienced humility and have been terribly embarrassed by my actions, thoughts, and words. I mean, humility is meant to bring me down a notch and help me understand that not everything is about me. I must die to myself to regrow into something beautiful. A personal “prescribed burn” must take place.

“Prescribed burning is the process of planning and applying fire to a predetermined area, under specific environmental conditions, to achieve a desired outcome.” Humility is that fire. When that fire is set in a gracious and merciful manner, what grows from the ashes is good and healthy. I want to be good and healthy, unselfish and likable, gracious and merciful in my own right. I want my focus to be on the Good, on the Light. Pride is dark and hollow. I want to be filled with love and goodness. I have to let go of the dark and ugly first, though. I’m most grateful for those who take my hand and gently guide me down the rocky roads to the spot on the corner serving a nice, big piece of humble pie.

From my heart, thank you for loving me that much.