Have you been that needy person? Have you been in a relationship with that needy person? It’s a tough gig either way. As the needy one in a relationship, you put your whole trust in another human being to meet every need you have. As the one who is in the relationship with the needy person, you can never be everything that person needs. It’s a lose-lose situation in the grand scheme of things.
When we are the needy ones, we are dependent on someone else to pay attention to us, to love us, to give us their time, to listen to us, and we tend to, at times, choose the very wrongest people. When we are so in need of love and everything else, we are not necessarily picky about who we turn to, either. The first person to show us the attention we crave is the one with whom we will make that attachment. Again, that’s not always the safest person. However, sometimes we don’t care if it’s safe. We just want and need that attention and love in whatever form. It’s a sad existence, really. It’s miserable. The reason it’s so miserable is because we can never get enough. We are never satisfied with what we do get. It’s a nice little recipe for complete and total disaster of one’s heart. There will always be a level of emptiness. Disturbing. Hurtful. People will disappoint you, hurt you, and not live up to your expectations. Check your expectations of humans at the door. High expectations of others is unfair to all involved. I have been that needy person. I’m here to tell you that it’s gross, and it’s impossible to get everything I need from another person.
In a relationship with that excessively needy person? Hold on to your rear end! The expectations of that needy person will empty you. That relationship will leave you gasping for air at every turn. You will be dragged under so many times and feel as though you will never get a full breath of air again. You sincerely believe you are giving everything you have to give, but that needy individual will have you thinking that you are just not doing enough. Like, you are not even close to doing enough. Again, misery ensues. When you are on empty, there is just nothing more you can do. Yet, you are expected to run 100% on fumes. It’s just not possible. At all. You are not that strong to hold on to a hand that continues to drag you under! If you are in a position where you are constantly attempting to give others what they need, what is it you are needing? To feel needed? To feel important? To feel like you have some purpose? Yes, to all of those, most likely. It’s a bumpy relationship with potholes and, sometimes, sinkholes! Supply and demand. That other person will demand, demand, demand and expect you to constantly supply. It is just not humanly possible. The supply runs out and there is no telling when another shipment will be coming through. And, beware. When you are unable to give to that other person, they will attempt to prick and prod to find more. They may not be doing it on purpose. They just may not know how to give you space and time. You may not know how to take it. Understand that you cannot give everything to everyone in need. I personally understand what it is like to be in relationships where I am expected to give more than I have. I also am a person who wants to please others. That’s my neediness. That leads to unhealthy relationships.
I can say in the utmost certainty that unhealthy relationships happen. They happen with any given human being on earth. There are some really healthy ones that happen, as well. They take work. They take honesty. They take time. They take an equal amount of give and take. Still, we will feel let down by other people even in the best relationships whether they are marriages, friendships, employee/employer, and any number of other kinds of relationships. We will feel let down because the human race is imperfect.
And my God will supply every need of yours according to his riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:19
EVERY need! The most perfect relationship you can have with any ONE is a relationship with God. He will be consistent in giving you everything you need. Not everything you want. Everything you NEED. This is one relationship that will always be here for you. Craving a relationship where you will get everything you need? This is the one to have. It took me 44 years to learn that lesson. I become impatient. I expect instant gratification in all my humanness. But, in my Father’s time, I will have what I need. Just because I feel like I want something, it doesn’t mean I need it. Also, just because I want it, it doesn’t mean it’s good for me. Trust me on this one. Trust me.
There is nothing not good about having a relationship with God. I have to constantly remind myself that this relationship is the only pure, everlasting one I will ever have. God is always here. God is always loving. God always has time. God will never abuse me. God will never disappoint me. He is merciful. He is forgiving. He is gracious. He is so good! It’s ok to need God. It’s ok to be needy for God. You don’t have to do anything but ask and have faith. Ask and have faith. Be needy for God and all of His gifts. God doesn’t run on empty. God doesn’t get tired. In fact, He wants you to be dependent on Him. Be dependent on Him. Go to Him. Ready! Set! Go!