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Monthly Archives: April 2015

My Nightmare Lesson

So, I woke this morning feeling very teary due to a nightmare I had.  In my nightmare, I was at work (which didn’t really look like my work) when I began to hear panic ringing through every hallway.  I begin to go and find out what is happening, and I am informed that there are people in the building with guns and knives.  I hear the gunshots blasting and people screaming.  My anxiety level rises, but I stay calm.

Now, in my nightmare, I am visiting with my youngest daughter.  She had come to visit with me, but she didn’t look like she was twenty-one years old.  She looked like a little girl.  When I started hearing the commotion in the hospital, I pulled my daughter down to the ground and had her lie flat to protect her.  I looked up and there were police officers firing off rounds in the direction of those trying to harm others.  My daughter started trying to get away by pulling herself, as she was still face down on the floor, down the hallway.  As she is halfway down the hall, two individuals with guns come out in the direction she was heading.  I was so afraid, so I grabbed a handgun, and I pointed it out toward the two individuals dressed all in black with blank expressions.  I squeezed the trigger.  Everything was in slow motion at this point.  I could see the bullet leaving the chamber, through the barrel, and down to hallway.  My daughter looked back at me, and she just smiled like everything was ok.  I could still see the bullet traveling in slow motion, and it was headed right between the eyes of the male standing at the end of the hall.  I was so happy!  I was saving my daughter!  Then it happened.  The bullet drops right out of the air and into the back of my daughter’s left leg.  Right above the bend of the knee, the bullet entered.  I could see the entry wound.  The individuals at the end of the hallway smiled big.  I was devastated.  The only thing I wanted to do was protect my daughter, and I ended up wounding her.  Oy!

The scene changed, but I had gotten my daughter out of the hallway.  Some time had obviously passed, and it looked like a scene from some school shooting.  Parents were outside of the hospital crying and in shock.  Then it happened, again.  Alarms started going off because another person was in the hospital attempting to harm people.  I told my daughter to just run to the restaurant that was a small distance away.  I wanted to keep her safe.  She ran to the restaurant and stayed there while I dealt with the danger.

I woke up soon after this.

As I sat on the side of my bed, I thought about the nightmare.  I usually try to find some reason or lesson in what I had dreams or nightmares about.  I thought, “Ok, what does this mean to you in real life time?”  Well, I thought about it, and I came to the conclusion that sometimes when we want to protect our kids so much, we can be the ones who end up hurting them the most.

I don’t ever want to hurt my daughters.  I can only protect them by praying for them and talking to them about the dangers in any situations.  I, also, have to understand that human beings must learn by doing.  We have all had people tell us why we shouldn’t do this or that, but we have done things that we probably should not have done anyway.  We had to find out the hard way.  As a loving mother, I want to try to shelter my kids from finding out things the hard way.  They have to, though.  There is a lesson to be learned in every single thing that we do.  I have to let my kids learn their lessons.  It doesn’t mean I don’t love them.  I love them with my entire being.  I just have to understand that me trying to be protective, or overprotective, can sometimes do more harm than good.

I want my kids to listen to God.  To trust God.  To do what is right by God.

Sigh…….I want to listen to God.  To trust God.  To do what is right by God.  I have to trust that God will take care of my daughters at every turn.  I don’t get to pick and choose when I trust Him.  I have to ALWAYS trust Him.  It’s a difficult task when it comes to my kids.  But, if I believe in God’s word, love, grace, mercy, faithfulness, then I have to believe that He will take care of them in every situation where I feel afraid.  I have to.

I.  HAVE.  TO.

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Posted by on April 21, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Rape Culture

Thoughts from my Dark Chocolate Layer

You’re (hopefully) hearing more and more about rape culture. Or, at the very least, hopefully you’re hearing that phrase.

Rape culture.

Statistically speaking, someone you know has been raped.

Statistically speaking, 68% of sexual assaults to not get reported. And 97% of rapists will never spend a day in jail.  https://www.rainn.org/statistics

Why? Why on earth would sixty-eight out of a hundred people not report this life-altering crime against them?

As a survivor myself, I can tell you that the answer to that is complicated at best. But a significant part of the collective problems is rape culture.

What is that exactly, you ask?

Years ago, someone stole all of the CD’s/our CD player out of our car while we were at the beach. The first question someone asked when I realized what happened was, “Well, were the doors locked?”

That, my friends, is rape culture in a nutshell. The…

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Posted by on April 18, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

What Does Godly Look Like?

I have been criticized for dressing too casually for church at times in my life.  I have been told that “ladies of the church think you’re a lesbian because you wear jeans, don’t wear makeup, don’t do your hair.”  That was told to me by a pastor’s wife.  Yeah, I know.  I was driven away from church at that point.  I didn’t want anymore to do with it.  Was I the most Godly person at that time?  No.  Did that mean I was a lesbian?  No.  It’s a hurtful time when those who, I guess, are supposed to nurture your growth and relationship with God are the ones judging and damaging.  I still wear jeans and t-shirts to church.  I do not curl my hair.  I do not wear makeup.  I am a more Godly person than I was.  I am still not a lesbian.

Does Godly look like a three-piece suit designed by Ralph Lauren?  Does it look like a $500 haircut?  Does it look like A. Testoni shoes?  Does it look like a Vera Wang dress?  Does it look like a nicely done up-do by a premier hair stylists?  Does it look like a $3000 pair of Jimmy Choo shoes?

I don’t think it means any of those things just as much as being ungodly doesn’t look like jeans, t-shirt, Nike sneakers, and a baseball cap.  There is no specific look for a Godly person.  A Godly person could be the homeless person you passed right by and yelled at.  A Godly person could be the CEO of a business.  A Godly person could be any one of us in between there.  Godly is not a look.  It is a behavior.  It is a relationship with God.  It is doing what is good and right.  It is about loving and giving.  It is about 1 Corinthians 13:4-8.

 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away.

That’s my take on it, anyway.

The next time you decide to judge someone’s Godliness based on their clothing, hair, or makeup, you might want to see what you are really wearing beforehand.

P.S.  I’ve never seen Jesus in anything Gucci.

 
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Posted by on April 8, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Dragon Breath

Have you ever woken up and thought, “Dang!  My breath could peel paint off the wall!”  Ok, maybe not those exact words, but I’m guessing some of you reading this has had that “uh oh” moment when you just hoped you didn’t have to speak to anyone in that time period.  Rushing to the bathroom, brushing and gargling, flossing, and whatever else can take place so that our breath doesn’t knock someone over and take the hair off his/her head.  Colgate Total had sales at $175,000,000 in 2014.  Now, that’s a lot of funky breath and yucky teeth to be taken care of.

I wonder, however…

Why are we not so aware of the other funk that comes out of our mouths?  Lies, assumptions, abuse, hate, prejudice.  It costs absolutely nothing to clean our mouths from the sludgy disdain that leaks from them at the drop of a hat.  We make things up about people.  We tell others what we assume others mean or think.  We harm others with our words as if we were getting paid to do so.  We call other people names, degrade them, put fear in them by sentences that do more harm than the other bacteria throwing a party in our mouths.  Why are we not more careful about that?  We could buy every tube of toothpaste known to man, , brush three times a day, and the funk in our mouths could still be there.

Moral toothpaste.

It doesn’t take a lot to cleanup our language, change how we speak to, and about, others, ask for forgiveness, and apologize.  Allowing those words constantly will cause such a cavity that no filling could ever fix.  We are fortunate that our languages allow for more than harmful words at every turn.

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.  Ephesians 4:29

What would it cost to speak favorably about others…ESPECIALLY when we want to be a fire-breathing dragon?  It would cost nothing.  Absolutely nothing.  Let the words that fall from our mouths be uplifting and life-changing instead of things that could literally kill someone.

 
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Posted by on April 4, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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Giving

Giving

I love to give!  Now, there are those in my world who would say that I sometimes do so to a fault.  And, there may be some truth in that.  I just see it to be a great blessing to give when I can and when I cannot, I share information that gets to people worldwide in hopes that they may be able to help even if that means sharing information, as well.  I have one of the most incredible friends in the whole world.  She is a good person, and she only wants to do what is so very good for others.  She volunteers her time and gives financially when possible.  She involves herself in ministry whenever and wherever she can.  Again, she’s just a good person.  One of the things I love most about her is her humble nature.  My friend gives all the glory to God for all things.  I don’t know that I have ever known her to accept any type of kudos without first and foremost thanking God.  That’s just who she is.  I’d like to be her when I grow up.

Now, this blog post will not be as long as some I have posted previously.  But, it’s one of the most important posts I have ever written.  Today/tonight as you read this, please know that you have the ability to change lives if “only” by sharing this information with everyone you know.  I ask that you follow both links below to get an idea of how you can help further if you wish.  My very dear friend is involved in both things listed below.  Thank you for reading and please share in the giving.  Thank you and God bless.

Sleep Out:  Mother’s Edition

Home for Sam:  Make It Rain

May what you give come back to you in abundant blessings.  ❤

 
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Posted by on April 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

 

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