Nothing. My grown children owe me nothing. Yep, that’s right.
As a parent, I have always tried my best to do what is right for my children. Now, my best wasn’t always the best. I failed so many times I cannot even count. What I did do right was to teach my children to be independent, self-sufficient, responsible human beings.
Where I have failed when they were smaller, I hope to correct as they continue to grow in their own skins. I hope to be a spiritual example for them. I was NOT that when they were growing up. I did teach them about God, and I do not regret that. However, I didn’t take them to church after being severely hurt by a preacher’s wife. I allowed that woman to ruin my church experience, and I refused to take my children. That is just sad for me. My youngest would always say she wanted to go, and I would refuse to take her because of my hurt. Selfishness at its finest. Ugh. I cannot apologize for that enough.
But my kids owe me nothing so that I can feel better about myself. That’s just gross. I want them to be spiritually strong. I want them to be married to strong, Christian men. Someone who will love them as God loves the church. They don’t owe that to me, but I hope they feel that they owe that to themselves. They owe that to God.
What do I owe my children? I owe them guidance when they ask for it. Let me repeat that, WHEN THEY ASK FOR IT. I owe them unconditional love. To be there for them. Always.
What do I not owe them? I do not owe them a rescue every time they get themselves in a bind. I do not owe them agreement when I disagree. I do not owe them a blind eye when I see trouble. If they choose that trouble, I owe them to get out of it by themselves. I do not owe them an enabling parent.
My grown children do not owe me a phone call. They do not owe me a hug and/or a kiss. They do not owe me attention. They do not owe me company. They love me because they want to not because I think they should. They owe me nothing. N-O-T-H-I-N-G.
I love my grown children. I love that they are grown and independent and strong (My momness kinda hates that though). I also love that they don’t feel like they owe me anything. At least, I don’t think they believe they owe me. I would hope that they do not.
I love my children.