Tag Archives: Pride

Oh, it IS Jesus!

Ok, so I was on a particular social network just a bit ago listening to this guy speak.  LOVED what I heard!  Seriously, what a great story teller this guy is.  Anywho, he mistakenly saw a profile picture as a woman in a dress.  The icons are really small, so it was hard to tell in all honesty.  I thought it was a woman in a big skirt, also.  The person who has that picture told him, “It’s Jesus, man.”  The guy speaking looked closer, and he stated, “Oh, it is Jesus!”  This one phrase made me decide to write this.  Why?  Because.  Because how many times do we see something, or someone, and not realize that it really is Jesus, so to speak?  A blessing.

I’m not talking about seeing some complete stereotype of what Jesus looks like.  I’m talking about the “smaller” things or events that we see on a daily basis.  I am talking about the sun.  The breeze blowing across your skin.  The delicious taste of that first cup of coffee or that tiny morsel of your favorite food.  The wispy clouds floating past the moon on any given night.  The person who may seem totally insignificant in your life until by some unexpected occurrence they aren’t.

We often take these things and people for granted for one reason or another.  We live in a busy world where we feel the need to hurry and get as much as done in the fastest amount of time possible.  Why?  What is so important that we forget to notice the little things we have been graciously given?  I am reading a book, and have been for a while because I have a hard time with comprehension sometimes, that has kicked me right in the rear.  The last chapter I read has really done me in.  It’s a good “done me in” thing, though.  The whole thing is about being able to practice thanksgiving and just living in the “where you are now” time and place.  I know that I had forgotten, or perhaps had never really know, how to do that.  I do my best on a daily basis to pay closer attention, though.  I fail a lot of the time.  I am okay with that and know that it is up to me to make it better.  I have to work harder at it.  I’m not against hard work and think that I perform better when the work is harder.

I think seeing Jesus, or blessings, or the opportunity to give thanks in everything could scare some folks.  Some folks are just so comfortable in living in the complaint department of life.  I’ve visited that department myself.  Complaining about not enough time to get this or that done when I’m just sitting around complaining about it.  Complaining about the amount of my health insurance deductible when there are others who are absolutely unable to get health insurance.  Complaining about my cluttered house when there are those who have no home to complain about.  Ugh…yes, I do this.  It’s gross.  Vile, even.  What would my life be like if I solely focused on just being thankful?  I think it would allow me to be more giving.  It would allow me to be more loving and kind.  It would definitely allow for me to be more grateful and less judgmental.  I am struggling to see the downside to this thanksgiving stuff.

Being able to hear a crying child can get irritating.  Seeing laundry that needs to be folded and put away is frustrating.  Having to put air in my tire because it went completely flat had me feeling dread.  But the gifts and provision by only Jesus are there.  I can hear!  I can see!  I have transportation!  Who am I to complain about things I have been blessed with?  What the heck?!  It’s mind-boggling if you really think about it.  Why do we complain so much?  Why are we so focused on seeing a lady in a dress or big skirt when really it IS Jesus?  What is it going to take to get us to slow down, breathe, focus on what we really do have?  Hm?

I have gotten a lot better about being thankful, but I can hardly stand myself at other times when I have allowed my humanness to take over.  It takes work, and I know that it is absolutely worth it to be grateful for every little thing.  It lifts a burden.  We are prisoners of ourselves, and we are freed from that when we practice thanksgiving.  Don’t you want to be free?  If so, what are you willing to sacrifice to make that freedom happen?  Pride?  Fear?  Selfishness?  Lay them down.  Slow down, take a step back, and just breathe.  Look for Jesus in the picture.

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Posted by on January 3, 2016 in Uncategorized


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Humble Pie and a Prescribed Burn

So, I had a very good friend hand me a big slice of humble pie earlier this evening. It was served with graciousness and love, but the taste still lingers, and my taste buds are not thrilled. I have been recently praying to be stripped of my prideful thinking and assumptions. It’s just terribly nauseating to see my own pride. With the proverbial mirror held up in front of me, I witnessed the repugnant sludge of pride exuding from my thoughts, lips, and fingertips in text. I find it terribly distasteful and tacky. It is necessary to see these things in myself and have them pointed out by those who want to lovingly help me grow in places that have been terribly deprived my entire life. If I want to grow as a “good and faithful servant,” I must die to my selfishness. I must succumb to humility. I’ve experienced humility and have been terribly embarrassed by my actions, thoughts, and words. I mean, humility is meant to bring me down a notch and help me understand that not everything is about me. I must die to myself to regrow into something beautiful. A personal “prescribed burn” must take place.

“Prescribed burning is the process of planning and applying fire to a predetermined area, under specific environmental conditions, to achieve a desired outcome.” Humility is that fire. When that fire is set in a gracious and merciful manner, what grows from the ashes is good and healthy. I want to be good and healthy, unselfish and likable, gracious and merciful in my own right. I want my focus to be on the Good, on the Light. Pride is dark and hollow. I want to be filled with love and goodness. I have to let go of the dark and ugly first, though. I’m most grateful for those who take my hand and gently guide me down the rocky roads to the spot on the corner serving a nice, big piece of humble pie.

From my heart, thank you for loving me that much.


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Posted by on August 4, 2014 in Uncategorized


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I Prayed to be Humbled

It’s been at least a week since I prayed hard that God would humble me in so many situations.  If there were ever a time where “Be careful what you ask for because you just might get it” was ever so loud, it would be at this time of my life.  I keep getting hit in the face with this being humbled stuff.  I suppose I should have been more specific about the amount of humbled experiences I was looking for.  I feel like God has thrown this to me so many times within the last several days, that I am becoming weakened by it.  Work, personal relationships, family, and everything in between have been the forefront of this whole “Humbled” thing.  And, while it does feel like I’m being beaten into submission, I grimace in saying that it is probably being used to only strengthen me.  It feels sucky.  It just does.

When we feel like we are doing what is right for us and our relationships physically, emotionally, psychologically, and spiritually, we sometimes believe that life is right on track.  Then BOOM!!!  We get hit with the “it’s just not good enough” feelings from others’ behaviors or words.  I sit here writing this thinking about my inadvertent role in being the “BOOM!”  I also sit here thinking about someone else’s “BOOM!”  pounding my life right now.  This crappy, realistic ‘light bulb” moment that I am having is due to that other person’s role.  Some of you may be so confused right now, and I don’t blame you if you are.  These are the thoughts in my mind which are violently attacking the keyboard.  Hang in there with me.

If it weren’t for that other person’s belief that what I have done/said is just not good enough regardless of how hard I was trying, I would have never thought about how I unwillingly/unknowingly do that to others.  Freaking humility!  I mean, I am so glad I get to learn this wonderful lesson.  It is excruciatingly painful for us when we do all that we believe is good for others just to have it thrown back into our faces. My head hangs in shame for being blind to what I have needed to be doing all along and really have only been selfish, at times.  That makes me want to vomit a little bit.  Ok, a lot.

I can sit here and wallow in my heartache or pity or whatever other words, OR I can lead all of my emotions instead of letting them lead me.  I have always strived to do what I thought people wanted.  I have always strived to be what I thought people wanted.  What a fool I have been!  I have been so busy listening to what I thought was right and have practiced selective hearing when it has come to what God says is right.  I could sit here and type how unfair or hard I believe things to be.  Note to self: Oh Boo hoo!

The reality is that nowhere is it written that life is, or has to be, fair or easy.

In fact, we are told that we will absolutely have troubles and sad times in our lives.  Period.  We WILL have troubles!  We WILL have sad times!  How we deal with them is a totally different blog post. 

 I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” — John 16: 33

Troubles and sorrows stink!  I have felt really irritated, pissed off, and mistrusting at/in God this past week.  That last sentence contradicts my belief in John 16:33.  The thing about that, though, is that the horrible feelings I have had this past week have led to some very peaceful moments when I have allowed God in.  Today, I took a proverbial slap in the face that I was not expecting.  It took that “trial” to make me see things from a different perspective.  It took that trial for me to be able to stand in someone else’s shoes.  For those I have looked to for everything I’ve needed at one point or another, I apologize and ask for your forgiveness.  We, in this world, look in so many wrong places for happiness, satisfaction, comfort, and love.  It’s what we as human beings automatically do.  The world is an evil place where our attention has been adverted elsewhere for our basic needs, but even though I had been aware of that for a while, now, I see it even more clearly, today.  While it is perfectly okay to love one another and to accept love and companionship with one another, people of this world are not the ultimate need fillers.  

This is what I know to be true (you do not have to like it or agree with it):

But you belong to God, my dear children. You have already won a victory over those people, because the Spirit who lives in you is greater than the spirit who lives in the world. Those people belong to this world, so they speak from the world’s viewpoint, and the world listens to them. But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception. — 1 John 4:4-6

I have been the victim of worldly deceit entirely way too long.  I’m tired.

I can be pissed off at God.  He’s a big boy and can handle it.  I know that when I am confused and hurt, He hurts with me.  He knows my heart, and that is what I need to focus on.  There are some things in this life that are just going to be the way they are.  I have no control over how anyone else takes care of those things.  I do have control over how I take care of those things.  I cannot be starving for “food” from others and expect to get it.  It is achingly unfair to others and to myself.  Others cannot depend on me to give them what they REALLY need, either.  I can love you, help you as much as humanly possible, listen to you, and other things, but I cannot give you what you REALLY need.  No human being can.

I know this truth, also:

Dear brothers and sisters, if another believer[a] is overcome by some sin, you who are godly[b]should gently and humbly help that person back onto the right path. And be careful not to fall into the same temptation yourself. Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important. — Galatians 6:1-3

I do know my limitations.  I want to be that person who “gently and humbly” helps you.  I am not your happiness.  You are not my happiness.  This I now know completely and humbly.

I did pray to be humbled, and boy have I been pummeled to my knees.  Even as I write this, I feel the humility that I have prayed for continuing to be thrust upon me.  It does not always feel so great.  Rarely, does it feel great.

However, I’d rather be drowned in humility than to be “rescued” by pride.



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Posted by on April 10, 2014 in Uncategorized


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